Somewhere along the way us men lost exactly what it means to be a man. Look around and you’ll see a flood of books, movies or articles online telling you how to be a manly man. But perhaps the one place where we’ve really lost our way is in the booze department.
Take a moment one day and ask your parents and/or grandparents what they used to drink. You’ll most likely be put to shame. But there’s still time to redeem yourself. So before you embarrass yourself any further, here are AMOG’s suggestions for the only drinks that you should order in a bar.
Know Where You’re At
First and foremost, take a second and become aware of your surroundings, as well as, why you’re out drinking.
If you and your boys go out for a couple of drinks in a blue-collar dive bar, ordering a martini isn’t exactly a manly decision. You’re bound to get a lot of curious looks from the other customers. The same could be said if you head to a trendy establishment or club to pick up a girl. Not only may the bartender not know how to make a proper martini, do you really want to attempt to pick up a woman while sipping on a martini? You’ll probably come across as pompous, not to mention that it could be just a bit difficult to move around with a martini swishing around in your hand.
Without trying to make this difficult, you just need to know what kind of bar you’re in. What’s the bartender wearing? If it’s a uniform, said bartender is probably only trained to make certain drinks. What kind of liquor bottles are behind the bar? If you spot bitters, it’s safe to order a cocktail. You should also know if the establishment is specific to one sort of alcohol. If it’s something like a wine or whiskey bar you don’t want to be that jerk ordering a Bud Light Lime, Finally, check out what other customers are wearing. This is common sense right here. If other patrons are formally dressed, then you know it’s probably a place where beer for the lower classes.
When out and about, the color and container of your drink can make all the difference. A rocks or martini glass always looks good. As for the alcohol itself there’s a simple rule of thumb. It should either be clear or brown. These include clear drinks containing gin or vodka or brown drinks with whiskey or rye.
Another consideration is the name of the drink. Classics like the Bronx, Rusty Nail, or Boiler Maker are simple, tough, and manly. While drinks like a Cosmo, Fuzzy Navel, or something that you can’t pronounce are mainly for the ladies.
There are plenty of manly drinks out there. And you should actually try as many as you can so that you can find your signature drink. So here are seven safe and timeless suggestions that should be the only drinks you order at the bar.
The Perfect Pour
If you’re looking for a drink that you can just sip on, which shows that you’re a man who takes his time to enjoy the finer things, order The Perfect Pour. The Perfect Pour is just 1.5 fl oz Johnnie Walker Blue Label Blended Scotch Whiskey served neat, which means it’s not mixed with ice or water. Make sure you get that with a glass of ice water to cleanse your palate. If Scotch isn’t your cup of tea, you could always order your liquor of choice, whether it’s whiskey or bourbon, neat.
With 1 1/4 oz. of vodka, 1/4 oz. triple sec and 1/4 oz. lime juice or sour mix, a Kamikaze is a simple and sweet drink that tells the bar that you’re a tough guy, or at least want to be. However, if you’re something other than a frat boy, order a vodka and triple sec on the rocks with a lime. It’s basically the same thing, but it shows that you’re a man who knows what he likes.
You can never go wrong by simply sticking with a beer. Just remember to follow the above considerations and no one will question your manliness. If you really want to man up, order a Boilermaker, aka a shot and a beer. The beer can be either served as a chaser or mixed with the liquor. If shots aren’t your thing order an All Irish Black and Tan, which is simply a pint that is half Smithwick’s Ale and half Guinness Draught.
Manhattan (Dry Version)
You shouldn’t have any problems in the man department with this classic drink. After all, it was the drink of choice for The Rat Pack. Again, be cautious of your surroundings when ordering a Manhattan, which is simply ¾ oz. Dry Vermouth and 1½ oz. Blended Whisky.
The Martini is another classic drink for the sophisticated gentleman, think James Bond. However, there are a couple variations. A classic Martini contains 2 1/2 oz. gin and 1/2 oz. dry vermouth with a green olive for garnish. A Martini can also be made with vodka, whatever your preference. A Dry Martini contains more vermouth, while a Dirty Martini is 1 1/2 oz. of gin or vodka with olive juice and an olive. One final piece of advice, never order a drink called “tini” unless it’s a Martini, such as an Appletini.
Rum/Scotch/Rye/Whiskey & Soda/Cola
Here’s a simple enough drink that can be enjoyed almost anywhere with plenty of options for your particular palate. And it’ so easy to make that it can’t get screwed up. Take 1 1/2 oz. of your favorite brown liquor, it could be Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, etc. and mix it with 6 oz. of cola. Another choice is Jameson Irish Whiskey and Ginger Ale. If you want to stand out a bit, go with a Scotch & Soda, 1 oz. Club Soda and 1½ oz. Scotch.
It doesn’t get any more classic than the Old-Fashioned. With its taste and depiction of wisdom, it’s no wonder why it’s the king of cocktails. Typically, an Old-Fashioned is 2 oz. Blended Whisky, 2 dashes Bitters, 1 tsp. Sugar, Splash of Soda, 1 strip Orange Peel and 1 strip Lemon Peel.
Images via Wikimedia Commons
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