Sports Male of the Group

Name: Yogi Perogi. My middle name is not Anthony. It is actually misspelled and should be Another (perogi that is). The handwriting at the Bureau of Vital Statistics is and always has been deplorable!

Birthday: I was born some time on a Tuesday, I think.

Birthplace: I was born in the bleachers of Yankee Stadium in New York City sometime during the third inning. I remember it was the same year the Brooklyn Dodgers won the Pennant, but that’s all I know about it.

Current Residence: Pittsburgh with the Pirates when it rains; Los Angeles when it’s sunny and the Dodgers are playing, and just about anywhere else where I choose to lay my hat. (It’s usually as far away as I can get from all those bill collectors who have the nerve to expect payment for all that sports memorabilia I bought last year.)

Ethnic Background: Perhaps Yankee ancestry, but don’t tell the Giants. My DNA resembles most of the members of the NFL but I tell people otherwise. This is because I drink heavily.

Description: I have been told I bear some resemblance to Babe Ruth, particularly around the eyes, but my mother says (when I remove the duct tape and allow her to speak, that is) that I look more like the candy bar, Baby Ruth. (You know, round and dark with a lot of nuts.)

Education: I attended the same elementary school as the great Babe Ruth, from which I graduated with no particular distinction. I went on to get a degree in “How to Make Footballs Out of Recycled Soda Cans,” but I was too specialized to find work in the field.

Favorite Places To Visit: Baseball Hall of Fame, childhood home of Rocky Graziano, sports cemeteries all over the world.

Favorite Movies: Ken Burn’s Baseball, Up The Fairway, This is a Ballgame, Mr. Jones

Favorite Songs: Take Me Out to the Ball Game, Come to Me, My Melancholy Flyball

Favorite Department Store: Red Socks, White Socks and Other Sundries

Favorite Accessories: multi-colored bleachers, footballs, golf balls, baseballs, basketballs, gilded boxing gloves, bats and mitts.

Favorite Pastimes: Attending the Super Duper Bowl and the after party; the Salad Bowl, scalping tickets for the best seats in the house for various sports events, carrying banners and screaming into crowds

Plans For The Future: I plan to create my own baseball team. So far I have two willing participants and half a baseball diamond. Are you interested?