Offbeat

14 Awesome Ways to Die

Vasily Darkbloom  Wednesday, November 26, 2008

It’s one of those few things in life you can’t get past and you must do. It’s something that everyone does, but very few people want to do. It’s something a lot of us plan for, but don’t look forward to. No, it’s not your taxes and it’s not going to the dentist, though those two things may be more painful. What I’m talking about is death.

Since you know dying is inevitable, wouldn’t it be cool if you could choose how you die? Some of these ways to die on this list might not actually be cool, but they sound cool and they would be an awesome way to be remembered. If you’re going to go out, you might as well do it with style.


lighting and tornado storm wallpaper 14 Awesome Ways to Die14. Die on the toilet while getting hit by a tornado

First of all, it would be cool to be remembered by dying on the crapper because it’s an unusual occurrence. It would be even cooler if a tornado swept you away while you were on the toilet. Your loved ones could then say that you were
killed by the ultimate swirly.


13. Die on a roller coasterrollercoaster 300x125 14 Awesome Ways to Die

Any kind of roller coaster death would be cool. If you came flying out of the seat and landed on a concession stand, that would be awesome. What if you pulled a “Fabio” and got hit by a goose or something flying by? You probably heard, but in 1999, Fabio got hit by a goose while riding a roller caster at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia. We all remember it, but could you imagine how more publicized it would be if he had been killed? It’s good that he’s still alive, but it would be an awesome way to die. Talk about your thrill rides!


thumb pickup truck with trailer hanging off cliff 14 Awesome Ways to Die12. Fall off of a cliff

I don’t think you’d have to worry about any pain. You’d have a hell of an experience on the way down and the sudden impact at the end of your trip would kill you instantly, but it’s something your family could brag about. This would be especially true if you accidentally drove off of a cliff or if you somehow managed to roll off. The stranger the story is the better in this case.


11. Skydiving with a faulty parachute
06 pastrana dive h1 14 Awesome Ways to Die
If your parachute didn’t open, you would still get the same thrill of the ride down, but even a little better. You wouldn’t have the sudden jerk upward when your chute opens. The only problem with this stunt is that you won’t have the guts to do it again.

10. Drinking beer
beer drinking death 300x225 14 Awesome Ways to Die
What kind of freak accident could happen when you’re drinking beer? What if you were drinking a bottle of beer and a stray bullet came by and hit your beer? Well, you’d be pissed, but what if the bottle shattered and shards of glass were thrust into your face and neck with such force that you died. One thing’s for sure, I’d rather die that way than live to tell about it. Pretty gross, but a great story for others to tell about you.


9. Hang gliding
hang gliding 14 Awesome Ways to Die
Just imagine, if you will, that it’s a gorgeous day outside. You’re flying in your hang glider in the mountains having a blast. The view is terrific and there’s enough of a breeze to make it exciting. All of a sudden, a draft takes you and smashes you into the side of a mountain. Splat! Well, at least you’d die doing something that you loved and you would be able to be one with the mountain.


8. Death by a T-Rex
attachment 14 Awesome Ways to Die
Okay, I didn’t say these ways had to be in reality. Besides, it would be really cool to get your head bitten off by a T-Rex. It’s something that doesn’t happen every day that’s for sure.


7. Having sex

Who hasn’t thought about dying while having sex? You could die with a smile on your face and a woman on your body. This is something that you could be proud of and your ancestors for years to come would also be proud to talk about you. You’d be a legend for many generations!


6. Bungee Jumping
298 14 Awesome Ways to Die
It would be semi-cool if the bungee cord broke, but it would be even cooler if someone measured wrong and the bungee was too long. You wouldn’t even know that anything went wrong, but people would be talking about it for a long time.


5. Decapitation by wing walking
223429410 3eeedad7ba 14 Awesome Ways to Die

Imagine that you’re a wing walker. It’s a really cool job and definitely different. You’re in an air show and you’re doing your thing. You get up onto the wing with no trouble. You’re able to get into the foot straps and strap yourself in. As planned, the plane rolls upside down, but you’re too far off the ground to hear the oohs and ahs of the crowd. The next step is for the plane to do a fly by upside down. You’ve done this dozens of times with this pilot. So, here you go whizzing by the crowd, waving as you pass and – snap! The pilot came too close to the high fence and you’re instantly decapitated. It may not be a great thing for all the spectators to witness, but it would be a legendary way to go.


4. Attack by a stingray
stingray 14 Awesome Ways to Die
I know Steve Irwin has done this one on September 4, 2006 and I’m not minimizing the impact of his death, but it was truly a cool way to die. I bet if we could ask him he would feel the same way. Irwin died doing what he loved and it’s one people will talk about for a long time. Though, many people though he was a little crazy, he was admired by us all.


3. Bear fight
grizzly 300x225 14 Awesome Ways to Die
Being attacked by a bear would be a pretty cool way to die, but it would be even better if you were fighting the bear. Better yet, it would be the best if you had the balls to pick a fight with the bear. Everyone would call you crazy and stupid, but it would still be a really cool way to die.


2. Hit in the head by an axe

I’ve actually heard of a couple of cases of this happening. If your number was up, wouldn’t it be cool if you were walking down a street and a flying axe just went right into your head? Not only would this constitute as a really bad day, but it would be an awesome way to die.


1. Killed by a Terminator
terminator2morph 14 Awesome Ways to Die

If you’ve seen any or all of the Terminator movies, you’ll know what I’m talking about. It would be a very brutal death, but no one (in real life) can say that a Terminator has killed them. It would be the ultimate way to die!

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16 Responses to “14 Awesome Ways to Die”

Posted by: M0b1u5 - December 18th, 2008 at 5:15 pm

Possibly the most retarded list I have ever seen. Well done!

Posted by: Simon George - December 27th, 2008 at 7:30 am

‘but no one (in real life) can say that a Terminator has killed them’, even if it had happened in real life no one would be able to say that a terminator killed them because they are dead…

Posted by: Shanky - January 29th, 2009 at 9:50 am

Dying while having sex? bummer for the woman, unless she’s that chick from Species..
“This is something that you could be proud of and your ancestors for years to come would also be proud to talk about you. You’d be a legend for many generations!” Ancestors? as in my forefathers?
lmao, what would be cooler is if the guy blows up into vapor dust when he climaxes.. cool retarded
way to die.

Posted by: Alyson Taylor - April 7th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

i love pie, wooooooo

Posted by: laura noszenko - April 7th, 2009 at 12:27 pm

i love girls and i am i girl thats means i am lessbian

Posted by: laura - April 7th, 2009 at 12:28 pm

hiii laura

Posted by: emma warner - May 17th, 2009 at 4:10 am

EMMA WARNER LIKES PUSSY.

Posted by: hhhhh - May 17th, 2009 at 4:11 am

this is not funny you gay fag.

Posted by: emma warner - May 17th, 2009 at 4:11 am

emma likes midgets

Posted by: ucytrhjhygdf - June 10th, 2009 at 3:08 am

emma likes dicks

Posted by: jes - June 30th, 2009 at 1:05 am

this is a very awkward list

Posted by: jes - June 30th, 2009 at 1:06 am

that would be cool to have sex

Posted by: jason - September 28th, 2009 at 9:29 pm

I guess just when you think you have heard and read it all, you find a post like this.
business communication

Posted by: gomez harry - April 2nd, 2010 at 1:38 pm

you are retarted to

Posted by: hctor - April 2nd, 2010 at 1:38 pm

i wanna die that way but with clothes on

Posted by: ddd - April 2nd, 2010 at 1:39 pm

me too