10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All Time
AMOG Home / Offbeat
- Vasily Darkbloom
- Thursday, November 6, 2008
When you think about places to post advertisements, rants, and just general ridiculousness, Craigslist should be at the top of the list. Each and every day, hundreds of thousands of people flock to Craigslist to buy things, look for love or sex, and look for jobs. With so many people coming together in one place, you can bet that hilarity will ensue.
Thankfully, the Craigslist Gods foresaw such a possibility, and the Best of Craigslist was born. Essentially, the Best of Craigslist consists of numerous posts about many different things, having been nominated for a prize.
When perusing the oodles of entries, you can tell that some not-so-funny ones were selected by people who just decided to be idiots and nominate worthless posts. Such people clearly have lives that they are ashamed of, and if they aren’t, well, they should be!
However, there are some true pearls of mediocrity on Best of Craigslist. These posts have made their way to the surface of the oozing amounts of crap exuded by numerous other posts.
That is why, the following posts (in no particular order, mind you) should be thought of as “The Top 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All Time”:
1. Let us frolic in my totally dope blanket fort
Obviously, the post title gets one’s attention, and is the epitome of ridiculous. Then, of course, it only gets better when you check out the pictures of this guy’s “totally dope” blanket fort. Clearly, this guy went to all the trouble of building a fabulously crappy blanket fort in the feeble attempt to prove that he could do so.
At least he admits that it’s crappy, calling it just a “prototype.” Um, hello? If you want to impress the ladies, oh Blanket Fort Man, you should have built an impressive blanket fort in the first place.
Don’t you know that women only want guys who can build AMAZING blanket forts?!
Nevertheless, let’s hope that, if this guy didn’t find love, he at least found better blankets.
It’s hard enough selling things on Craigslist, so people have resorted to selling things with a bit of extra provenance. Take this woman, who claims that the haunted toaster hates her and burns her toast. If that is the case, well then, they’re a lot of haunted toasters.
Or maybe, just MAYBE, there are a lot of ridiculously stupid people out there who can’t figure out how to use a toaster! If nothing else, though, it would have been very amusing to watch her drop the toaster off the roof, which is probably what ended up happening.
3. My Casual Encounters Experience
Oh yes, the seedy side of Craigslist is exposed here. It’s funny to read the disclaimer when entering these more sinister parts of Craigslist, in which they advise people to practice safe sex. Yeah, like that happens.
The people who are desperate enough to post an advertisement looking for NSA (No Strings Attached for all you virgins out there) aren’t thinking about that, They want to get it on, and get it on quickly.
Clearly, this ridiculous post shows the rantings of a very sexually frustrated and overall bitter woman.
She wasted her time ranting on good ‘ol Craigslist, when she could have, say, gone out into the real world and possibly met a well-endowed, normal guy. On the other hand, with all of the trouble she went to, she might as well have just purchased a vibrator.
4. Space Ship for Sale $3500.00 or best offer
Upon first reading the title to this classically ridiculous post, you might think that it was some sort of a joke, that a person was drunk and just put up an advertisement for kicks. Not this time, and there is ridiculously amazing photographic evidence to prove it. Yes, this person really did build a spaceship.
Or, one could call it a cosmically themed sculpture of some sort, since (well, hopefully) it doesn’t actually run, landing sensors or not. If it DID happen to be in working order, I think you’d agree that $3500.00 is quite a reasonable price.
5. Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost)
Why is it that people are resorting to selling haunted things on Craigslist? Really now, enough is enough.
However, if you’re ridiculously stupid like this poster, you too can buy a foggy glass (or is it plastic?) jar and pretend that the ghost of George Harrison is inside!
6. Trying to have a missed connection – m4w
One of the most interesting sections of Craigslist is the “Missed Connections” section. There, people who gazed lustily at a total stranger from afar can post to see if that same stranger noticed them too. How romantic.
Let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to have a missed connection? So, be ridiculous like this guy, and post an advertisement in which you actually want to coordinate a missed connection. Um, part of the fun of a missed connection is that it’s completely, totally missed! Maybe this guy was confused, and was just awkwardly asking for a date.
Well, for his sake, and any of those who actually were silly enough to respond to his advertisement, let’s hope so.
7. No taxation without representation
This post is not just ridiculous in the amount of time and angered effort (note the aggressive use of the Caps Lock key!) that was put into creating it, it’s also ridiculously true. Clearly, it took tax season for these truths to become self-evident to this angry person.
One can just imagine Mr. or Mrs. Angry Person standing on a soapbox, screaming about taxation atrocities. Only, these screams will probably be falling on deaf ears; everyone else will be too busy doing something that this person clearly doesn’t do enough of: WORKING.
8. Rant: Person with a wooden leg that lives above me
Everyone at some point has had an annoying neighbor. However, this person actually was ridiculous enough to write a letter to a neighbor who quite possibly has a wooden leg. Or, as this person muses, might like wearing stilts. Um, hello?
First of all, the person is far too busy walking around and being noisy to read your rant. Second of all, ever heard of that marvelous little invention called high heels?
9. Things I’d like to tell students that would probably get me fired
Probably the most ridiculous thing about this post is that this neurotic person tells off his or her imaginary students in really not-so-blunt ways, mixed in with jokes that are horribly bad. C’mon now, stop being such a coward! Be like Morgan Freeman in the movie Lean On Me.
Okay, so he was a principal, not a professor, but the man got his point across with a bat! The key thing here is he commanded respect without ever having to use it. In the case of this ridiculous professor, this whiny rant gets an F.
10. Autographed Copy of Plato’s Republic
Finally, someone’s selling something that isn’t haunted! How refreshing. Obviously, the ridiculousness of this post is self-explanatory. Alas, there’s no price mentioned in this advertisement.
Surely such a gem would be priceless, at least to someone who actually cares about philosophy. This begs the question: what does it mean to truly care? Does philosophy truly have one definition? Oh, shut up.
There you have it, the 10 most ridiculous posts on Craigslist. Of course, there are hundreds of other posts to read on there and laugh at.
So, the next time you’re on a boring lunch break, why not check them out? Or, better yet, post one yourself. Just make sure it’s ridiculous.
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55 Responses to “10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All Time”
Posted by: JOhn Roberts - December 8th, 2008 at 5:50 am
Yup, I’d say you picked some good ones!
Posted by: Minty - December 8th, 2008 at 6:08 am
hi..first time here.interesting list
Posted by: Chad - December 8th, 2008 at 6:17 am
I don’t see any posts about cinder blocks…
Posted by: Dan - December 8th, 2008 at 7:04 am
For more craigslist awfulness, with really funny commentary, try:
yousuckatcraigslist.com
Posted by: ENG - December 8th, 2008 at 7:18 am
Yeah, Chad. I was kinda hoping to see that, too.
If the cinderblocks post left a freaking ADDRESS (!!!!!), then it would’ve felt truer than it did.
Posted by: Anon - December 8th, 2008 at 7:19 am
In all honesty, #7 shouldn’t even be on that list. Granted CL is most likely the wrong place to put such a rant, but.. That is not ridiculous, all the statements are valid. Honestly, this list should just be 9 long, you fail author, you fail.
Posted by: Austin - December 8th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Dear “Offbeat Mog”:
You are a complete moron who obviously does not ‘get’ the vibe of the “Best of Craigslist.” For example, the person selling a glass jar “possibly containing a ghost” did so with all pun intended. Most of the “Best Of” posts are written with a great deal of blatant, intentional sarcasm. Futhermore, you obviously don’t ‘get’ the wry humor that is often implied quite effectively by some rather intelligent muses. Another example: The guy writing about having someone with a wooden leg above him obviously constructed his rant as a way of venting frustration in a humorous manner in hopes that other people would read his post and laughingly empathize with him/her. How was that misconstrued by you that the poster thought the peg-legged offender would read his diatribe? That is only one example of the numerous erroneous interpretations you listed in your article.
Please, get out of the gene pool, srsly.
Posted by: Jennifer - December 8th, 2008 at 7:39 am
I find that Craigslist fills me with enthusiastic optimism that there are intelligent quipsters out there that are overly amusing with their witty mentalities and creative writing skills.
Posted by: Ethan - December 8th, 2008 at 7:39 am
That large glass jar was actually purchased by UK radio 1 DJ Scott Mills apparently it smelt a bit rank but that was all.
Posted by: Craigslist - December 8th, 2008 at 7:49 am
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/35274458.html
Posted by: alexx - December 8th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Great post. Thanks!!
Posted by: Mo - December 8th, 2008 at 8:01 am
What about the chick who offered sex for a World of Warcraft mount? When you think about it long enough, you realize it’s prostitution, straight up.
Posted by: Peter Lake - December 8th, 2008 at 8:25 am
You forgot to mention the cat hat collection from the best of CL. Understated hilarity!
Posted by: Paul - December 8th, 2008 at 8:35 am
The best craigslist post ever was the one for the $1 per cinder block. It was popular like a year ago. I’m sure we’ve all seen it. I still laugh when I see it.
Posted by: Stuat Hannig - December 8th, 2008 at 8:44 am
“SA (No Strings Attached for all you virgins out there) ”
I find this insulting to us virgins. Copping a feel of your brother is just aout the same.
Posted by: Matt - December 8th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Good job! You’ve taken several posts that were intended to be offbeat/sarcastic/weird and made unfunny comments that add absolutely nothing to the world. I’m always happy to see people fail miserably, but this failure was so terrible that I had to actually look away from my screen and wince in pain as though I had been punched in the face by bad humor.
As I was sitting here this morning, I was thinking that maybe blogs get a bad rap. Then I find this, the epitomy of everything that is wrong with giving untalented so-called comic writers the tools to reach the masses with their bombs and then unleashing them on unsuspecting civilians. What did they do to you? Why do you punish my eyeballs? You are like the guy that hears a joke he doesn’t fully understand and then tells it to everyone else in the office while giving his own lametard commentary. Do you know what happens to that guy? HE WAS LAID OFF DUE TO THE LAGGING ECONOMY AND HAS NO BEARING ON THIS RANT WHATSOEVER!
To summarize. I don’t care for this article. I’m sure you are a great guy and this was an honest attempt to make something enjoyable and fun to read. Unfortunately it just made me sad. The only thing I can do to get cheered up now is to kill a hooker. Thank god they aren’t real people.
Posted by: bonik - December 8th, 2008 at 9:04 am
hi..first time here.interesting list!!
Posted by: Michael - December 8th, 2008 at 10:48 am
What Matt said. One hundred times over.
Seriously, leave the comments and just point out the good content — you’re adding nothing. I’m not trying to troll, but seriously — your comments substantially subtract from the humor of the entries. Let them stand alone.
Posted by: Joe - December 8th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Fuck you, asshole.
I wrote the “No taxation without representation” post on CL and if you don’t like it, blow me.
Posted by: scott - December 8th, 2008 at 11:22 am
There should be a Craigslist post about ppl trying to use other Craigslists posts to be funny when instead they’re just retarded
Posted by: Alex - December 8th, 2008 at 11:40 am
My favorite oen is the toaster. Even if I did believe in ghosts that thing wouldn’t be caught dead near my house, in case it got even more mad with me and tried to take my life lol
Posted by: Free Xbox 360 Games - December 8th, 2008 at 11:43 am
This should have included the guy who posted job opportunites and to have people come dressed in a certain way and meet him outside the bank. He then robbed the bank wearing the same clothing as he told the other people to wear. HAH.
Posted by: Jeff - December 8th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
It is people like you that make me fear for our society. Your complete incomprehension of sarcasm is so obvious that I want to feel sorry for you, but can’t really, because it hurts me so much to read things you’ve written. In case you still don’t understand how imbecilic you are, I’ll enlighten you by saying that just about every one of the above posts was written with an intelligence and sense of humor that you clearly lack, and your attempts to deride them simply make me wonder how you can possibly function as a member of society. Normally I would have written this reply in a sarcastic manner, saying things like “HAHA LOLZ, that guy totally thinks that a blanket fort is going to help him get girlz!!” but for fear that you might actually think I was LOLing with you, I will instead let you know that any LOLing I do will most certainly be directed straight at you.
Posted by: hertz - December 8th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
these are not even close to being best of all time. i’ve seen much better ones. this wasted my time.
Posted by: Austin - December 8th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Jeff,
Basement kitteh told me if he wur a kitteh, he would not gets chzbrgr prize for litterary efurts. Stoopid hooman. Lolz
Posted by: Holly - December 8th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Holy shit, those posts were WAY funnier than the shitbag who tried to write copy for them.
Posted by: Geoff - December 8th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
this one is pretty friggin hilarious too!
http://austin.craigslist.org/cas/945208548.html
Posted by: J. Acai - December 8th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Me and my boyfriend were at the post office one day, about 8 months ago, needing to pick up a package and submit a change of address form. We go home, and the next day, I’m bored and looking around on craigslist, and I look at the missed connections. I see one that says “Hot couple at post office”. Then the guy describes exactly what we were wearing, and what we were doing, and wants to know if we’re “into thirds”.
Posted by: ntopics - December 8th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
These Craig’s list postings are really funny.
I like the haunted toaster the best.
thanks from tony
Posted by: Aaron - December 8th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
OK, seriously, no offense meant, but your article wasn’t really funny. The articles you linked to were funnier than your lackluster comments. Try to come up with jokes that aren’t so lame and you may have something there. I have to agree with what Matt wrote a few posts above.
Posted by: Laslo Toth - December 8th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Yup. Your humor-detector crapped out on you, and we all had to suffer through this post. Most of these entries are obviously tongue-in-cheek. Most of your snark relies on assuming they were all dead serious. You fail.
Posted by: DopeyJoe - December 8th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
‘grats on being the dumbest person on the internets, for not recognizing sarcasm that’s as thick as tar. Dipshit.
Posted by: Tom - December 8th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Um, hello? Earth to guy who wrote this column. You’re retarded.
Posted by: Nina - December 8th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
wow.
Posted by: jeff - December 8th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Umm.. Matt and others: the joke’s on you. I think this author was himself being sarcastic by pretending to not “get” the sarcasm of the CL posts and pretending to take them literally – which in turn actually underlies the sarcasm of the CL posts! Brilliant actually (and fooled you to boot).
Go back and read the blurb on the blanket fort…
Posted by: PaK - December 8th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
The blanket fort guy says he wants to be inspired by a beautiful woman, a la the Taj Mahal. The Taj Mahal is a tomb where a powerful ruler buried his favorite wife after she died. Good luck finding the lady who wants to be _that_ muse (especially for such a crappy blanket fort builder. . . .)
Posted by: Jerry - December 9th, 2008 at 4:03 am
Wow you sound really bitter, calling these people with a sense of humour “stupid” and “idiots.” Hah. I’m guessing you were trying to be funny, but you just end up sounding socially inept. You might want to rework your delivery…and you’ve already made yourself a list of reference material. Good list, but like other commenters have said, your commentary sucks.
Posted by: bonik - December 9th, 2008 at 7:59 am
wow. thanks
Posted by: Don - December 9th, 2008 at 8:29 am
‘grats on being the dumbest person on the internets, for not recognizing sarcasm that’s as thick as tar. Dipshit..
Posted by: Barbara - December 9th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
I almost peed my pants laughing at Matt’s commentary. Thanks for the laugh, I REALLY needed it today!
Posted by: Ring-a-ding-ding - December 13th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Ah, internet anonymity. Bringing out the best in all of us. Including everyone in the comments section (yes, me too.)
Posted by: lokki - December 17th, 2008 at 8:27 am
wow. thanks…
Posted by: Erik - December 20th, 2008 at 11:07 am
The best craigslist post ever was the one for the $1 per cinder block. It was popular like a year ago. I’m sure we’ve all seen it. I still laugh when I see it…
Posted by: Erik - December 20th, 2008 at 11:21 am
hi..first time here.interesting list!!!
Posted by: famaf - December 23rd, 2008 at 5:35 am
Man, I love craigslist and especially the “best of” section, but, incredibly, you’ve managed to make it boring!
How many times do you have to use the word “ridiculous”!
Of course it’s feckin ridiculous! The whole site is!
And everything that’s put up there is put up with the special craigslist brand of irony.
A brand developed through the site’s own moral code, which basically whittles down to ‘everything goes, just don’t act like a tw*t’
Sadly, the writer of this piece has done just that.
That guy ranting about taxation obviously works you numnuts, that’s why he’s so p!ssed all his taxes are going down the drain.
The casual encounters woman is not “bitter and desperate”, she’s open-minded, craigslist thru-and-thru and fuc8in funny!
yeah and jeff you’re wrong.
Matt you’re bang on.
Next time I’ll read comments before contributing.
Save repetition.
Posted by: alizee - December 24th, 2008 at 1:03 am
Holy shit, those posts were WAY funnier than the shitbag who tried to write copy for them..
Posted by: Simba - January 4th, 2009 at 6:09 am
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/462463318.html The best
Posted by: Rob Wallace - February 3rd, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Hey! Most of these people are my friends.
Posted by: Raj Bhosley - February 19th, 2009 at 7:23 am
Right after reading "Things I’d like to tell students that would probably get me fired", I was going to explain patiently that far from being "whiny" or "ridiculous", that post is, in fact, a very intelligently-written, well thought-out, and yes, funny post. Then I read some of the other posts and your accompanying commentary, and thought, "Is this guy really as dense as I perceive him to be?" Then I read the responses to your article, and realized that I wasn't imagining your obtuseness. What can I say that Matt, famaff, and others haven't already said?
You must be the type who goes to science fiction conventions just so you can laugh at the "losers" who costume up for the occasion, without considering that some of them might have better educations, better jobs, and better sex than you have.
Posted by: We The People - April 14th, 2009 at 1:11 am
You are a dumbass. I wrote the No Taxation without Representation posting and you can blow me if you don't like it, asshole.
Posted by: driver99 - October 10th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Your local fire department can often help you. ,
Posted by: Richard - December 14th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
UPLOADING IDENTITY 1
The guy who wrote this top ten list is, and the list itself is, and CL is, a product of our times. So what if his is not the best effort in the world, or so what if it were – everything in context, everything is relative. I mean it would be faint praise if we unanimoously agreed this was "the best top ten list in history." And his failure, if such is the case, is not the horrible crime some folks seem to think it is.
Think about what it is that you are getting all hot about (if you didn't get hot ignore me). Man, where is our sense of humor and good grace in this modern world. If the guy is lame, don't be lamer by judging his lameness in a context, here on line, where lameness is a commodity. Blogging a top ten list is not exactly like being a 'big fish in a small pond' . . . perhaps more like appearing intelligent in a stupid context. But so what, in our modern culture(s) this kind of thing is popular.
Richard
Posted by: Richard - December 14th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
UPLOADING IDENTITY 2
Irony – the king of humors; cynicism – the curse of modern civilization; sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, yes that is true. But poor grace and bad manners and an inability to chuckle at the follies of our fellow humans has been a sin since the beginning of time. Here, as with all reality, with this guy's success or not, observing something is what makes that 'thing' real. Let it slide folks and it is less real. You know guys, that old saying "roll with the punches" – but, it is important to only roll with the punches that hit you. This top ten listing guy was harmless . . . but you angry folks, you worry me.
My oh my, it seems some folks. Matt etal, are suggesting the writer broke an ancient code governing the way in which one makes a top ten list; sounds as if folks are suggesting this guy committed a sin by lowering the standards of, what, tossing out sarcasm. Easy now people; take a look around at what's real in the world before going off on the words of an online blogger.
Richard
Posted by: Richard - December 14th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
UPLOADING IDENTITY 3
Hellooo, internet chatting/blogging is not about saving the world. Browsing for something to read online, or to get all hot about (tell the truth, many of you who troll about looking for something to vent on) is not the same as going to a library looking for information. Folks, helllooooo, chating, blogging are about UPLOADING IDENTITY (unlike in the pre-internet days – when identity was almost entirely 'downloaded' from our parents, authority figures, books and media). You angry folks are simply uploading your identities. That's fine, no problem, fill your boots . . . but folks, hell's bells, wake up and look around you . . . stop taking such things so serious.
The irate comments from the 'taxation guy' are somewhat legitimate but the rest of you angry folks – Matt, get a life, simply evidence how it is that folks like to hear themselves talk. Or, Matt, don't get a life but please stop acting as though this online stuff is your real life because that would be sad. Hahaha . . . and here I am letting myself become involved in such inanity.
Richard
Posted by: Richard - December 14th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
UPLOADING IDENTITY 4
Now, I know you are all clever folks, but before you write back and tear into all the obvious holes in my comments, before you put all that wonderful brain power to use figuring out rebuttals and replies to my comments, take a moment, think about what you are doing. You are uploading your identity ; you are not involved in saving the world, or creating standards to limit sarcasm or anything else particularly useful. But that's okay; I am all for timely wasting time . . . but I don't take it seriously. You shouldn't either.
- there's me uploading my identity . . . and I do have strong feeling about all lots of online 'stuff' . . . but I'm smiling and chuckling at the wonderful, remarkable capacity we all have to take ourselves too seriously.
Richard
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