Well, it’s safe to say that good ‘ol Sigmund Freud would be proud. While he saw sex symbolized in architecture and doorknobs, nowadays people see sex in everything. All you have to do is read a magazine or watch television to notice the most amusing euphemisms for sex. Here are 10 of the most prevalent ones, with possible explanations as to where they came from:
1. Banging: This one probably originated from the Nomads. They were among the first people to populate the earth, and “bang” on rock to make caves. They probably noticed that the sex act itself was similar to “banging” with a crude hammer. Except this time, they were banging with just their penises (well, hopefully that’s all they used).
2. Fucking: This is really probably the most common euphemism used today. Honestly, if the word “fuck” was erased from the English language tomorrow, many people would be rendered mute. The origins of the phase “fucking” are probably Latin. But, wouldn’t it just be so much more interesting if, in Medieval times (no, not the restaurant), there was some guy named Thomas Fucking who was known for his sexual habits?
3. Screwing: This euphemism is what most people use as the less-dirty alternative to saying “fucking”. Just as a screw goes into a hole, so does a penis into a vagina. Except, a penis doesn’t have to be twisted in like a screw does. If it did, then that’s one awkward situation!
4. Shagging: This one is very Austin Powers, but it actually was a common euphemism during the ’60s and ’70s. Just listen to some classic rock from that time, and you’ll get the idea. Many hippies and rockers had lots of drug0induced sex on shag rugs, that’s for sure.
5. Humping: This is pretty much self-explanatory, but if you’ve lived under a rock, then obviously you wouldn’t have noticed the way dogs hump during sex is similar to the way humans do – hence the sexual position “doggie style”.
6. Feeding the Kitty: Pussies aren’t just cats, they’re vaginas too! Just like real kitties, vaginas need to be fed…but they’re more particular, they like semen.
7. Hanky Panky: This one went out of style, like, a hundred years ago, but you might still hear a horny old man use it (if he’s talking to you – run away quickly, he can’t catch up).
8. The Horizontal Mambo: Yeah, the Mambo is definitely one of those dances that leave nothing to the imagination. Literally, it’s basically a couple having sex on a shiny dance floor and wearing equally shiny outfits. No wonder it became a euphemism.
9. Creamin’: This euphemism’s been used in movies and in rap songs. It’s pretty obvious what the cream refers to, unless a nasty yeast infection is involved.
10. Ballin’: While this euphemism used to pretty much just apply to sports, it obviously means much more than that now. After all, where would a guy be without his balls?
So, there you have it – some of the most popular euphemisms for sex. But, the list is always getting bigger (no pun intended) because as time goes on, the dirtier minds get!
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Are you fucking kidding me?
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