Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World
Seriously, hipsters suck. What they have done to music and fashion is nothing short of a monumental travesty to the DIY ethic developed by the punk rock, post-punk, and underground music scenes that blossomed and thrived between the 70s and early 90s. If you live in a cave and don’t know exactly what a hipster is, this quote from Time Magazine sums them up pretty nicely:
“Hipsters are the friends who sneer when you cop to liking Coldplay. They’re the people who wear T-shirts silk-screened with quotes from movies you’ve never heard of and the only ones in America who still think Pabst Blue Ribbon is a good beer. They sport cowboy hats and berets and think Kanye West stole their sunglasses. Everything about them is exactingly constructed to give off the vibe that they just don’t care. ”
Christian Lorentzen, a writer for Timeout New York, also gives a good description of the current state of hipster culture:
“Under the guise of ‘irony,’ hipsterism fetishizes the authentic and regurgitates it with a winking inauthenticity. Those 18-to-34-year-olds called hipsters have defanged, skinned and consumed the fringe movements of the postwar era—Beat, hippie, punk, even grunge. Hungry for more, and sick with the anxiety of influence, they feed as well from the trough of the uncool, turning white trash chic, and gouging the husks of long-expired subcultures—vaudeville, burlesque, cowboys and pirates… Hipsters in their present undead incarnation are essentially people who think of themselves as being cooler than America.”
You can spot a hipster from a mile away.
They also buy ridiculous clothes from American Apparel:
You might see them at your local Urban Outfitters:
A store that sells stuff like this:
If you want to see hipsters at their worst, go to the greatest website ever: LATFH. It looks at the decadent, horrible characture of its former self that independent music and fashion became by showing photos of outlandishly dressed and oftentimes passed out drunk hipsters and providing links to videos of terrible songs.
The worst band ever, BrokeNCYDE, was listed on their site. While most of the most high browed and elite of hipsterdom would never admit to liking this crap, there is a segment of the 14-18 year old crowd that genuinely likes this music. Be warned, you will never be the same again after watching.
Seriously, this is worst song ever: Freaxx.
It’s so scary that they actually played this horrible crap on TRL on MTV, a true testament of how bad MTV is:
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=38201541Another shit-covered gem by them, 40 oz:
Who would seriously likes this music?
The high browed hipster would listen to something like this:
Animal Collective- My Girls
Or something dancey, like this:
Hercules and Love Affair- Blind
While that was all pretty frightening, what’s even more sad and scary is that hipsters have invaded popular culture. In this episode of Law & Order Criminal Intent, a young hipster probably deservedly gets stabbed in a bad neighborhood.
Sadly, it doesn’t stop there. Hipsters and hipster culture are showing up on reality TV and HBO. Apparently, there is casting going on to make a reality show based on hipsters in the Silver Lake area of Los Angeles. HBO already gave us “Flight of the Conchords” and the new show “How to make it in America,” and is developing a series about two aspiring female hipsters who move from the hipster capital of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, to the Silver Lake area.
In closing, hipsters have added nothing significant or new to anything in the last decade while invading and saturating culture. They are cool only in their own minds, and really just need to get a life. We will leave you with these great series of videos, called Breakfast at Sulimay’s. There are a ton of them on Youtube. They chronicle the reactions of 3 old people listening to hipster and other types of music, and more often than not, are left horrified or unimpressed. Priceless.
MGMT
Young Jeezy & Animal Collective
DJ Tiesto & Volcano Choir
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11 Responses to “Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World”
Posted by: Jennifer - March 23rd, 2010 at 6:02 pm
haha great article. srsly i live in LA and i salute this article by saying FUCK ALL HIPSTERS. This city is LITTERED with them. Silverlake is a fucking JOKE and poor Echo Park a place where low income families used to find affordable housing are now finding a bunch of spoiled hipster idiots moving in and raising property value in this neighborhood that sits next to SilverFAKE. Its pathetic that Generation X and Generation Y have disinegrated to this shitty fake group of idiots. These fuckers dont vote, dont care about the war, and wouldnt know anything about the current political climate yet they try to emulate the hippes?? There's this faggot named Matthew Teardrop who has an utterly SHITTY mediocre band called Manhattan Murder Mystery that is worth destroying. Go to their youtube videos and vimeo and talk shit to them, cuz this guy is a total hipster douchebag and his shit-kid friends are all elitist subpar musicians. Fuck all hipsters/
Posted by: Apathetic J - April 7th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
and you just gave MMM (a damn good band btw) way more press than if you just kept your bitch ass shut
and who the fuck listens to brokencyde anyways??? not anybody i know in east hollywood
Posted by: instantpedestrian - April 7th, 2010 at 7:20 pm
yeah, a hipster would complain about hipsters
Posted by: fuckface - April 7th, 2010 at 10:33 pm
yeah i know that faggot too such a douche, his band does suck
Posted by: Rants&Raves - April 8th, 2010 at 12:37 am
You obviously must be a hipster yourself since you reek of the political outcry. Tell me jenifer did you vote? Is your Car a Prius? And most importantly do you know a damn thing about music? I don't think you do. I personally think MMM is one of the better bands in the LA area and maybe if you weren't so focused on looks or social cliches, you could open up your ears and actually hear the music, not the scene. elitist? sub par? You sound like a bitch, and an uniformed one at that. Do your self a favor, next time your drinking your soy chai at the Casbah cafe, blogging about silverfake on your mac pro laptop that mommy and daddy bought you, zip up your skinny jeans so you dont wind up talking out of your ass..
Posted by: Chris - April 12th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
MGMT are morons. It was Friedrich Nietzsche not Mark Twain who said "If you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back at you."
That is not irony, it just rank ignorance… hipsters are an embarassment to the human race.
Posted by: Arthur Dismachek - April 18th, 2010 at 4:53 am
I would like to finish by saying to be truly original you have to have your own opinion. Originality has nothing to do with how you dress, or what music you listen to cause there is some one else who probably listens to that too and thinks the same because they believe the crap that everyone else tells them. stop caring about what people think and start caring about making your self a better person making your life better and better for those around your.
P.s. I am in generation Y as they say I was born in the 90's and i dont take any thing any tells me as fact i do not fancy my opinion as corect but i am open minded to critism and other veiws please tell me how you feel about what i have said in an intelligent way with proper gramar and spellin No lol's or rotfl or u's or i will not consider it. as a logical debate
Posted by: Colin - April 22nd, 2010 at 4:47 am
Well, Coldplay does actually suck donkey balls, but yeah I love that I can judge a whole demographic based on thier clothes and hair.
Posted by: Ball Swaggle - August 8th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
I think commenting on this page makes you a hipster…. oh fuck no!!!!
Posted by: awesomesuace - August 13th, 2010 at 6:59 am
sure. call me a hipster because i have far better taste in music than you.
Posted by: MC shithead - September 1st, 2010 at 5:50 pm
good lord. shut the fuck up. MMM is a terrible band. regardless of their musical talent or merit, they themselves are obviously focused on looks and social cliches. just look at them. fucking clones. "do you drive a prius?" are you fucking serious? theres plenty of people that drive a prius, most of who are not hipsters. so seriously, shut your mouth. you're entire argument here was garbage.