Alcohol consumption is far from a new trend. Some intellectual types can trace getting trashed all the way back to the Neolithic Period, which was around 10,000 BC.
As civilizations began to develop across the globe, everyone was consuming the exquisiteness of alcoholic beverages. The Egyptians? Check. The Greeks? Check. Native Americans? Check.
Even the freaking Puritans brought more beer with them than water when coming across the Atlantic in the Mayflower. Which was probably because the water was all sorts of contaminated, but I think they were some secret booze hounds as well.
Since booze has been a part of mankind’s evolution, it’s only natural that we find new ways in getting hammered as quickly as possible. Of course there are the massive amounts of games, contraptions, and drinks with high alcoholic content that are employed to make drinking more exciting, and more importantly, intoxicating.
Then we have the people who will most likely be receiving a Darwin Award in the near future. We’re talking about people who aren’t just idiots, but people who could be classified as mentally challenged, just on the basis of how they try to get drunk.
5. Vaporizing It
AWOL, an acronym from Alcohol With Out Liquid, is basically an asthma inhaler that gets you drunk.
Without getting into all of the boring details, it essentially vaporizes liquor, which supposedly goes straight to your bloodstream. It’s said to create an instant “euphoric high,” and will also cut out things we don’t like about getting trashed, such as carbs and a hangover.
The machine was first introduced to the UK and crossed the pond to the U.S. in 2004. Six years later, people still aren’t sure if there are any negative effects. It also hasn’t become the “ultimate party toy” as it’s creators promised, probably because inhalers are for nerds and you would look like a clown if you used it.
4. Snorting
If there’s an open orifice on the human body, some loon will find a way to stick something in it.
The nose is no exception.
People love to snort pills, drugs, tobacco, ants, and whatever object they can cram up their schnozes. So why not vodka?
In a moronic attempt to prove how small your brain is, and probably member, people that snort vodka do it to speed things up. Of course, it’s all fun and games until you could potentially die from it. Then again, maybe that’s just what it’s for. To thin out the weak.
3. Slimming
As defined by Urban Dictionary: “Slimming” is the vaginal or anal insertion of a liquor (usually vodka) soaked tampon for the purpose of rapid intoxication. Usually an attempt by a teenager to avoid detection of alcohol on their breath.”
Yeah. If you’re willing to stick a tampon up your stinker you deserve a swift kick to the nuts. A huge violation of being a man, no matter how effective.
2. Vodka Eyeballing
Recently, this “trend” has been making the rounds in the media. However, it’s been around for years. In the 2000 British comedy Kevin & Perry Go Large, there’s a character named Eyeball Paul who partakes in vodka eye-shots.
While this poor attempt at getting hammered has been over saturated, it’s still utterly stupid. Regardless of the fear mongering that it may leave you blind, you probably deserve it if you’re willing to pour alcohol into your eyes.
Besides, I don’t think you can even get drunk from it. So, it’s also a waste of perfectly good liquor.
1. Intravenously
Growing up in the 90′s I’ve become accustomed to people shooting up. Hey, whatever floats your boat.
But, shooting up alcohol? That’s a new low, even for junkies.
This rock bottom method has been reported for some time. In 1999, there was a report on three cases of people doing such a thing. Their main reason was the instant buzz. There were also a couple of other variables, such as not having booze detected on their breath, and, what I believe as a last ditch replacement for drugs like good ol’ heroin.
While I’m no doctor, it does make sense that shooting up alcohol is a horrible, horrible idea of a good time.
You could risk everything from alcohol poisoning to inducing a stroke to death.
Albert Costill
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Thank you for this very one of a kind blog of yours. I can not begin to think your sources for these thoughts, but this has made a good imprint on me. Anticipating there is more to come.