So, some or all of the nine signs that your wife is cheating on you turned out to be true. You’re obviously and understandably upset and shaken, but what should you do now?
Going through an infidelity in a marriage is no easy task. In fact, it’s probably going to be a long process that’s going to send you through every human emotion possible. The good news is that there are numerous ways to cope and deal with what you’re going through, and hopefully, you’ll be able to move past it someday.
To help you get started, here’s what you can do to cope with an unfaithful wife.
Make Sure It’s True
You have to have concrete evidence of an affair, either something you found out or straight from her mouth. Don’t take hearsay for fact. You don’t want to make accusations that aren’t true. Once you know for sure you can begin to move forward.
Ask Her Why
This is a biggie. Maybe it’s something that you did, and she was getting payback like being neglectful. It simply could have been a one-time-mistake, or—and this is horrible to even consider—she actually fell in love with another man. Regardless of the scenario, you and your wife need to talk things out and figure what caused the affair in the first place. Even if talking to your partner doesn’t save the marriage, at least you’ll have closure in knowing why she cheated on you.
Can You Forgive and Forget?
After finding out the reason why she was unfaithful, ask yourself if you can forgive and forget. Can you trust her again? Can you not get into the blaming game with her? If the answer is yes, then the marriage is worth saving.
It’s going to take time. If it’s worth fighting for, then go for it. If you can’t forgive and forget after some time, then it’s time to find a lawyer.
Take Some Time For Yourself
While you’re probably going through a lot of negative feelings, take this time for you. Enjoy yourself. While going out and sleeping with as many women as you can isn’t recommended, do everything else you like. Sit in your boxers, drink a beer, eat a steak, and watch football all day on Sunday. Take a trip. Have poker night with the guys. Simply put, make the best of being single again while you’re trying to figure out what’s going to happen with the marriage.
Again, if you’re trying to salvage your marriage, then it’s not wise to get some action for yourself. However, you’re still going to need to find a legal and healthy way to vent. Talk to a counselor. Start exercising. Take up a new hobby. There’s an endless amount of options for you to let off some steam and to keep your mind preoccupied. That’s of most importance: keeping busy. You can’t dwell on the past … it will just eat you alive.
Take Time Before Making Any Major Decisions
You may want to file for divorce immediately upon hearing of the affair, but you can end up working things out. Before making any major decisions, take the time to make sure that it’s what you really want once you have a clear head. After all, the grieving process has the same parts of death and dying (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). In time, your relationship can actually be reconciled and strengthened. No need to say or do anything that would jeopardize that while in the early parts of the grieving process.
Try Not To Tell Everyone
It’s only natural to want to tell every friend and family member what happened. However, those closest to you can hold on the grudges for a long time, which would make things awkward if you and your wife stay together. A select few is understandable, especially if you have kids, but if you really need to talk it’s best to seek counseling. Besides, do you really need everyone bothering you for details and becoming the talk of the town?
Even if a divorce doesn’t occur, it’s not going to hurt to get some legal advice and take a look at your finances and assets. It’s better to know what you have and what you’ll need to do if you separate or end up getting a divorce. Consulting with a lawyer will provide you with the legal options if the marriage is over. Besides, you don’t want to get blindsided if you get served divorce papers.
Image Source: The Mankind Project Journal
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