The last thing I need when I log onto the internet is more bad news. To me, the internet is just one big escapist fantasy wherein I need not worry about the troubles of everyday life.
Issues like my crushing anxiety, social awkwardness, and my perpetual state of destitution do not need to be complimented with grim sensationalist headlines like, “Swine Flu can kill up to 90,000, says White House study”popping up on the MSN homepage.
You know it’s either serious business or total bullshit when the White House reports it, but which is the case this time? Is Swine Flu out to kill us all? Or is it an over hyped non-issue generated by the dark fear engine that is the mainstream media?
Unlike most decisions – like which college to attend, or wire to cut – we cannot leave this up to coin toss or palm reading. No, deciding whether or not to give a damn about Swine flu will require methodology a bit more, scientific. So let’s let the numbers do the talking.
Since May of 2009 there have been 4,714 cases of Swine Flu in the United States alone, and has less confirmed deaths per year than the regular flu!
If you still fear infection, simply consider the fact that you have a 1 in 700,000 chance of being struck and killed by lightning, yet it happens to 90 people in the United States every year! I’m not a mathematician, but I’m pretty sure that brings your odds of swine death down some place between, “Pretty low” and “Michael Jackson comeback” low. IE: Not f$%#ing likely.
Still not convinced? You should then also consider the regular flu, which not only infects 35 to 50 million Americans a year, but actually kills more than 20,000 of them! Of course, most of us have had the flu multiple times (and survived) and know that unless you’re an infant or elderly person, then it really isn’t all that life threatening, despite sharing identical symptoms with its porky counterpart. (Swine flu)
Symptoms of Regular flu:
-Lack of appetite
Symptoms of Swine Flu:
-Lack of appetite
If you ask me, the world losing its collective shit over swine flu was the greatest demonstration of human gullibility. A few weeks ago, in a town I was drifting through; a middle school discovered one of their students was infected with swine flue.
Instead of sending him home sick: They canceled class for three weeks, brought in HAZMAT teams, and sterilized the entire campus; All when a quick google check would have revealed that the swine flu isn’t much different from the regular flu, hopefully prompting an administrator to ask, “If we don’t treat regular flu like zombie plauge, why would we treat swine flu as such?”
The aforementioned information of course – while readily available to anyone who cared to look– was never discussed by the mainstream media; because peace of mind does not sell as well as fear does. And it’s not as easy to sell useless shit like designer surgical masks to a properly informed populace.