Chocolate is one of the most wonderful gifts the New World gave to the rest of the world. While the unprocessed seeds of the cacao tree are extremely bitter, after fermentation and processed with cocoa butter and sugar, its delicious bounty is unleashed.
In fact, contrary to what many believe, chocolate can be good for you: when eaten in moderation it can lower blood pressure, dark chocolate contains antioxidants and is particularly more healthy, and can better your mood because it interacts with serotonin levels in the brain. Already a tasty treat, and now possibly healthy in moderated quantities, chocolate is the nectar of the Mesoamerican gods.
But unfortunately, or fortunately if you’re a weirdo, chocolate has been commandeered by silly people in our postmodern age and changed into strange and interesting objects and other manifestations. I’m sure you have all seen chocolate edible underpants, so we are going to branch out and look at different, and strangely interesting, uses of chocolate, both physically and not.
Chocolate Fukuoka Castle
What a waste of perfectly good chocolate. Actually, it’s kind of cool. Almost 300 Japanese students created this chocolate castle in 2008 to celebrate the 400-year anniversary of the Fukuoka Castle. While deliciously constructed using eggs, sugar, almonds, and marzipan, it probably isn’t very practical to eat.
Chocolate Couture: A Chocolate Fashion Show
While not purposeful, chocolate has recently killed someone. In July of 2009, a New Jersey man died after he fell into a vat of chocolate. The 29-year-old man, who worked as a temporary employee in a processing plant, fell in after a blade used to mix the chocolate hit him and knocked him to his sweet demise. Vincent Smith fell from a 9-foot platform into the 8 foot vat, and coworkers tried to save him but to no avail.
Hey kids! Try out this new chocolate toothpaste, sure to make your teeth shine, shine, shine their way to gingivitis and tooth decay! No, seriously, researchers are looking into using chocolate in toothpaste, and apparently, chocolate might be better in fighting cavities. Who woulda thunk it?
While not literally chocolate precipitation, Tay Zonday’s viral internet smash hit Chocolate Rain evoked the sweet and flooded popular internet sites and mainstream television shows in 2007. Oddly addicting, and stepping away from the microphone before delivering each line, Zonday’s song apparently deals with racism in America.
The song became so big that Dr. Pepper enlisted Zonday to do a blingtastic promotional video for its new Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper beverage. In many ways, the follow up video is even more amusing than than the original.
You might be familiar with the grilled cheese sandwich from about a decade ago that had a mysterious image of the Virgin Mary on it and sold on Ebay for $28,000. Well, workers at a chocolatier in 2006 found something even sweeter: a a chocolate Mary. Under a vat, they discovered a 2-inch-tall chunk of solidified chocolate drippings that resembled the holy mother. Workers there were so convinced of the likeness, they even set up a shrine around it, complete with rose petals and tiny candles.
Eat chocolate… to save the planet?
The hippies at Terrapass, Bloomsberry & Co., and Whole Foods proudly present Climate Change Chocolate bars! Yes, by eating their fancy chocolate bars with 15 tips on the wrapper for “lightening your environmental impact,” you too can educate yourself on how to save the planet… and then promptly litter the wrapper out of your car window on the way home from the grocery store. Each bar comes with a Terrapass offset of 133 pounds of carbon dioxide reductions. Offsets for your expanding waistline not included.
The World’s Largest Chocolate Fountain
The Bellagio hotel and casino in Las Vegas, already famous for its water fountains, also has the largest chocolate fountain in the world. It is 27-feet-tall, circulates more than 2,100 pounds of melted white, dark, and milk chocolate at 120 quarts a minute. In order to stop you from dipping your dirty fingers or strawberries into it’s enormity, 300-pound glass panels surround and protect it.
You can order this amazing yet oddly disturbing chocolate skull from the aptly named website www.chocolateskulls.com. Made from a delicious blend of Mexican and Cuban chocolate, with this two and a half kilogram skull molded from a model of a real human skull, you can indulge your sweet tooth as well as your cannibalistic fantasies. You can order it in bone color, dark, milk, or white chocolate for only $120 plus shipping.
Acne Clearing Chocolate?
It’s a commonly held belief that eating chocolate somehow leads to having more acne. While this hasn’t been proven, the skin care company Borba has turned the popular belief on its head. They introduced a chocolate bar that supposedly helps clear up acne and other blemishes!
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